Book Review - "Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches" by Rachel Jankovic

Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches
By: Rachel Jankovic

Loving the Little Years is a breath of fresh air amidst the current "seminar mentality" of modern Evangelical Christianity. It does not give you a step-by-step formula for parenting, discipline or organization. It does not dwell on the issue of stay-at-home mom vs. working mom. Rather, this book seeks only to focus on one very important aspect of your heart... your attitude.

I'm a big fan of focusing on the heart of your children in parenting. After all, they are not puppies that we can train with only concern for their outward behavior. Outward behavior is important, because it shows us what is in their hearts. Dealing with the heart is the best way to deal with the behavior. Rachel Jankovic takes this biblical mentality and applies it directly to mothers. If we find ourselves struggling in day to day life, tempted to give in to loneliness, frustration, despair or bitterness... then there is a problem, and it isn't with our circumstances... it's with us. This book focuses on our attitudes rather than our circumstances. While the book is (obviously) written for mothers, the principles are based on gospel thinking and can be applied to all areas of life. I'm going to share some of my favorite aspects here, but please... read the book. :-) It's divided into very small chapters, so take a few minutes a day and air out your attitude!

My Favorite Chapters

Chapter 2 describes a mother's life as "Life in a Rock Tumbler." Rachel speaks honestly of her own temptation to look back on the ease of her spiritual walk in past years, and to yearn after it. I mean, let's face it, how many of us USED to sit on a neatly made bed each morning, talking to the Lord at length, planning and committing our day to Him? I too have a temptation to look back on those years as "the good years" when I was spiritually growing by leaps and bounds. But Rachel points out that just because we don't have time for quiet reflection about our growth does not mean that growth is not happening. Actually, life in the rock tumbler should be viewed as having more opportunity for growth than the quiet stream did. Here in the tumbler, if we before the Lord address our own hearts each day as we teach the hearts of our children... not only will our children really "get" the lessons (because they are being lived before them), but our own growth will be consistently encouraged. Don't yearn after the old days and old habits, rather embrace this stage and recognize that Christ is here as well!

In Chapter 4, Rachel reminds us not to be bogged down by the constant series of struggles our children will go through, but rather to take encouragement in looking at how far they have come. See, in parenting, there will always be a new problem to be worked through. This is because our children are sinners (just like us!). It's easy to feel like a failure as a mom, instead of praising the Lord for past victories and grace, and praying over present struggles in faith believing that He will conquer the hearts of our children in the new area as well. For me, this was a huge encouragement. Yes, Kyle is now running away from me as fast as he can when I mention a diaper change, but he rarely refuses the food placed in front of him anymore. I need to remember to be excited over his little victories, praising God for them!

In Chapter 12 Rachel talks about the issues of body image and "me time." Her perspective is wonderful! She (rightly) is a big advocate of not allowing your attitude to be dampened or frustrated by lack of cleanliness etc, and encourages you to take that time in the morning to start your day by showering, even putting on some makeup! But she is also realistic, cautioning against the mentality that our bodies are treasures which our children are destroying. She points out that our bodies are actually tools that we are to be maintaining. So yes, lose the pregnancy weight so that your body is fit for use, but in the meantime... don't cast angry glares at your son thinking of everything you "sacrificed" for him. Motherhood is about laying down your life, and laying down your body for another. What a privilege to follow Christ in this area!

Chapter 17 was my favorite chapter. In it, Rachel urges mothers to solemnly treasure these short years which our children have under our authority. It is vital to teach them the importance of God's law, so that they can stand under it alongside us... on their own two feet. Parenting is slowly releasing children from our authority to join us under God's authority. While they are always under God's authority, they will not always be under ours. Rachel urges parents to "Keep an eye on the time when they will be free of your law - you want them to have learned to love God's." She also points out that her "relationship with [her] children will be, Lord willing, one of friendship far longer than it is one of authority." This is an important mindset for those of us in "the little years" to remember. We'll be parents of adults before we can blink twice, and I trust that, by God's grace, we will have raised them to be a great blessing, not a great curse.

My Favorite Quotes

"If my attitude falters, even in the midst of external order, so does everything else." (p. 11)

"Try to notice these little mile markers on the path of sanctification. If the sins have changed, it can be a sign of growth. it is not as though our children are going to emerge from their current problems into perfect holiness if only we give them enough swats. They are going to emerge from one set of problems into the next, and that is good. That is the way of the Christian walk." (p. 22-23)

"The mere fact of having had children does not mean you are a fruitful person." (p. 32)

"Christian childrearing is a pastoral pursuit, not an organizational challenge." (p. 50)

"[Our bodies] were not given to us to preserve, they were given to us to use." (p. 59)

"As our children grow, we ought to be releasing them from our authority to God's authority alongside us." (p. 85)

"Joy is not giddy. it is not an emotional rush - it is what happens when you accept your lot and rejoice in your toil. So rejoice in your children. Look them in the eyes and give thanks. You will not even remember the work of all this planting when the harvest of joy overwhelms you." (p. 102)

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DIY - The Bathroom Drawer Project

In my bathroom, there is a massive drawer. I use this drawer every day, and it was begging for a makeover. I was inspired on pinterest by lovely, organized drawers such as this…

marthastewart.com

But any containers/kitchen utensil holders I could find were too expensive for my blood, so the drawer sat untouched. That was until I happened into the Dollar Store one day, and saw some lovely shallow baskets and a few office clip cups. They were all the perfect height for my massive drawer, so they came home with me at once.

Here is my end result. I was too embarrassed to take a before picture. Just look at the after picture and imagine all of that stuff (plus a number of things I got rid of) thrown into the drawer randomly. That was before.

One of my main organizational trouble spots has been conquered. J Can you tell I’m just a little excited? And I spent under $6 for this lovely makeover. Compare that to buying giant bamboo utensil trays at Bed Bath and Beyond! Trust me, I saved some money. 

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New Recipe #2 Crock Pot Chicken Cacciatore

It's week #2 of the year, and here is new recipe #2! So far my New Years resolutions are still going strong, but maybe that’s because I set realistic ones this year. J One new recipe a week is really not that hard, and my McCheyne Bible reading schedule has been a huge blessing! Now, my exercise program? That resolution is not so hot at the moment. I need to step it up a bit if I’m going to be flexible during labor/delivery. And yes, movement and flexibility are very important for that day of my life! But don’t get me started on natural labor, or we could be here a while.

Today my recipe was Crock Pot Chicken Cacciatore. I LOVE using my crock pot! To me there’s nothing like that “multi-tasking” feeling of supper cooking while you do other stuff. I should cook in the crock pot every day… I really should! It’s just that great.

I found the recipe on pinterest (favorite site ever), and it’s from food.com. All you need is 3 lbs chicken, cut up in pieces, 1 large onion thinly sliced, 12 oz of tomato paste, 6 oz sliced mushrooms, 1 chopped green bell pepper, 2-4 cloves minced garlic, 2 teaspoons oregano, 1 teaspoon dried basil, ½ teaspoon celery powder, 1 teaspoon salt, 3 tablespoons olive oil, 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes.

So, I’m a cook… not a baker, as my husband constantly reminds me. See, HE is a baker, not a cook. The difference? He follows recipes EXACTLY, I guesstimate and substitute. He isn’t allowed in the kitchen when I’m cooking, or it drives him nuts to see me “slaughter” the recipe. I just have to remind him that he loves my cooking, so why should he complain about my methods? With the above ingredients, I substituted like crazy. For instance, I didn’t have basil or oregano on hand today, but I did have an Italian Dressing Base that was heavy on those two ingredients, so I chucked that in instead. It turned out just fine. J I also didn’t have celery powder, but I did have celery salt (or some such thing) on hand, so I used that. I don’t think I measured a single one of the spices, I just dashed them in until it looked and smelled about right. J That’s me in the kitchen, and it turned out great… so don’t worry about the exact stuff with this recipe. Just have fun and make it taste yummy!

Directions:

Place onions in bottom of crock pot. Add chicken pieces. Stir all the other ingredients together. Pour over chicken. Cook on low heat 7 to 9 hours or high heat for about 3 to 4 hours. Serve over pasta or rice (and enjoy how wonderful your home smells all afternoon!).

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New Recipe #1 Easy Baked Tilapia

I have to give credit for this recipe to my newly married sister. :-) Until eating tilapia at her home a few weeks ago, I had always covered it with flour/salt/pepper and cooked it in a frying pan on the stovetop. This way is MUCH easier and MUCH yummier (is that a word?). Keri improvised using an old family recipe for chicken, and breaded with saltine crackers instead of breadcrumbs. The result??? Well... let's just say that my husband actually likes fish prepared this way. And that's saying something. 

So, start by heating your oven to 350. 

Gather your ingredients. Tilapia filets, sour cream, lemon juice, paprika, garlic salt, salt, soy sauce (or I use Worcestershire sauce) and a sleeve of saltines (or two sleeves, depending how how many filets you are doing). I cut this recipe in half since I was only making tilapia for three. :-) The whole recipe makes enough sauce for 6 or more filets. 

Combine 1 pint sour cream, 4 tablespoons lemon juice, 2 teaspoons paprika, 2 teaspoons garlic salt, 1 teaspoon salt and 4 teaspoons soy sauce into a creamy sauce. Then crush the sleeve of saltines (Kyle was very interested in this part, and asked to help. Precious!) and empty them into a separate container.

 Dip the tilapia filets into the sauce, coat well, dip into the crackers, coat well, place in a greased baking dish. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes, or until done.

My little boy is such a sweet helper!

Here is my menu planner, still in constant use!

The finished product. We had a yummy supper! I love new recipes... once I get around to trying them. :-) 

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30 Weeks

Here's my baby bump at 30 weeks prego. Even though my weight-gain has been significantly less this time around, I still feel like my bump looks full term! I guess that's what I get for not building back my ab muscles in the last year. :-) I've only gained three pounds in the past month, so that wasn't bad for over Christmas (I don't want to talk about the month before though... Thanksgiving was not kind to me).

This week I'm feeling an amazing amount of pressure from a VERY low baby. Pelvic rocks (Bradley exercise) are my friend, since that helps to adjust Kimber's position and make Mommy more comfortable. I'm thankful to say that the hard contractions I was having a few weeks ago have stopped, thanks to some help from my chiropractor. I fell down a flight of stairs about a month ago, and began having very painful, very long contractions whenever I "overdid it" in the weeks following. A few hip adjustments have made a huge difference. Now I'm back to having normal, painless, short Braxton Hicks contractions. Ahh... relief!

Kimber is still an incredibly active baby. I love to feel her movements throughout the day. I can't believe how close it's getting to her arrival. Please pray with us that this baby will be late, as she is due the first day of her Daddy's exam week.

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Mondays are for puzzles...

This evening as I waited for my tilapia to finish baking (blog post about that new recipe to come later this week!), Kyle and I had some fun with puzzles.

Here he is with his new car puzzle. I wish I could have caught the expression on his face when he put the piece in correctly. It's priceless!

Here he is figuring out his new "big boy" puzzles. He did great!

And of course, eventually we ended up under the table with Quest. Everything is more fun with Quest along after all. :-) 

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2012, here we come!

It is truly hard for me to believe that 2011 is over. This year has seen so much change in our home, yet to me if feels as though the year began yesterday. This might have something to do with the fact that I’ve been pregnant for half of this past year… and yes, time takes on an entirely new feel when you’re carrying a little one.

As New Years Day approaches, I have done more than my usual “planning” and “brainstorming” and “resolving.” This is probably because my nesting instinct is in full swing. It also has to do with my own feeling of inadequacy to raise two children at the same time. J I want very much to remain close to the Lord, keep a clean and organized home, keep up with my reading, and try some of these lovely pinterest projects during the chaos that is about to descend on my life!

Another big goal of mine is to branch out of my cooking rut this year. I want to begin shopping at Trader Joes, and try at least 4 new recipes a month. For me, that’s a daunting task! I love to cook… but I hate trying new things. Weird isn’t it? I hope to be able to share some of these adventures with you all over the next number of weeks and months.

For now, wish me luck as I dive into these (and other!) lists. We’ll hope to see you a bit more frequently over the upcoming year. 

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