In the past month, my son has completely changed. I always knew that he had a sin nature, I even saw it at times, but in the past month rebellion, stubbornness, and direct disobedience have all become clearly evident. First they were evident in his actions, then in his words. I’m not shocked at this fact, but I am shocked by the responsibility! This soul that I treasure, while not mine to save, is mine to guide.
Parenting--- I’m afraid I’m going to fall flat on my face!
Suddenly, it occurs to me. Being flat on my face is exactly where I need to be
Bowed in anguish before my God
Pleading my inability and HIS ABILITY
God, keep me flat on my face as I raise my children!
Well, I’m squeaking in a blog entry for the month! My goal was to post once a week, and the past while that has NOT been happening. However, this month I have a very good (and exciting!) reason. Tim and I found out that we’re expecting another baby. :-D
The baby is due in early March, and I am currently in the throes of “all day sickness.” That’s actually what I want to write about today, because the Lord has been using my sickness to teach me about Himself.
I was sick during my pregnancy with Kyle. Really sick. But I know that every pregnancy is different, and so I went into this one with optimism and my chin held high. However, to date this pregnancy has been an exact mirror of my pregnancy with Kyle. I’ll admit that I’ve had some discouraging days along the way. I hate being sick, I hate throwing up, and I hate the look on my little boys face when I lay on the couch instead of playing on the floor. I did the math, and if this pregnancy continues to be just like Kyle’s was (hoping that won’t happen!), I will feel better around November 3’rd. Two weeks of sickness down, let’s see… thirteen weeks to go.
I love this baby. I am thankful for this baby. Tim and I have prayed for this baby. He is an answer to prayer. He is a gift from God. Truly children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward. I have employed a technique that I used during my sickness with Kyle, each time I’m “hugging the toilet” I thank God out loud for my baby. I praise Him for the little life growing inside of me, for the soul that He is entrusting to our care. I remember those of my dear friends who have prayed for a baby, and the Lord has yet to answer. How selfish it is for me to complain! I praise God for this opportunity to live out the gospel by laying down my current life for this new little one. I even (sometimes) thank God for the fact that I’m sick. As I voice these things to the Lord, each and every time I feel my heart come back into line with my current calling. Truly, I am blessed!
I remember being impressed by a thought when I first looked into the face of my little Kyle. I suddenly realized that he was the only thing I could take with me to heaven. His soul, entrusted to Tim and I for care and upbringing, would Lord willing live with us in joy for eternity. His soul was the only thing from earth that we could take with us. As I remember that lesson now, it is as sobering today as it was then. God has called me to be a Mom. For the rest of my life that calling will impact my happiness more than any other calling I receive. It is a good calling, and one that I will praise the Lord for.
I found this vintage rocking horse today, and got it for... well... almost a steal. The guy didn't bargain down as far as I would have liked, but it still cost less than a new one, and has so much more character! Kyle spent the whole evening on it. Isn't it adorable?
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